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IT'S THE END of summer: Your mailbox is overflowing with school information, your phone is ringing with requests to volunteer, and your kids are reacting to a new school year with a variety of emotions. One's anxious about starting high school; another's afraid she won't have any friends. Or perhaps your child can't decide which extracurricular activities to join. How on earth can you know what's really important for your family—and handle all your children's needs?
With five kids in seven years, I quickly learned the answer lies in getting on my knees as the school year kicks in. Here's how to do that effectively, despite the busyness of this season.
Think Through Your Family's Needs
As fall gets underway, my husband, John, and I make a point of going on an overnight to discuss our kids' needs for the coming year. We think through five areas of growth: spiritual, physical, emotional, mental, and social. As we talk about each child, we list his or her needs in every category. This becomes the basis of our private prayer list and helps us adapt schedules to our family's real needs. Best of all, it gives us the opportunity to watch God answer prayers.
As our children have reached the late teen years, we've begun sharing our needs together. Each family member thinks through their needs in all five categories for the coming year; then we have a family meeting and share them so we can pray specifically for each other.
This past fall, our twins, Libby and Susy, went off to college for the first time. Each shared they felt a spiritual need for an older Christian girlfriend on their campus to mentor them. We began to pray—and God answered in a wonderful way with two upperclass women, Sarah and Merrit, who met weekly in a Bible study with our twins on their respective campuses.
Record Prayers—and Answers
Setting aside at least a half hour first thing in the morning to pray has made a big difference in my life! I need to begin my day this way or else I never get to it. It reminds me that God cares about my day, and he loves my children even more than I do. I desperately need that time alone with him.
As you buy school supplies for your kids, buy yourself a new prayer notebook and list your children's needs. Add other things you're praying for, such as their future spouses, sexual purity, and solid friendships. John and I also list the character traits we ask God to develop in our kids—a servant's heart, a teachable spirit, compassion, gentleness, etc.
Divide your notebook into seven separate days and pray for different things each day. Otherwise, it's too overwhelming. As God responds, record his answers—you'll be encouraged as you look back at God's faithfulness over the years.
But what if God doesn't answer? He always does in one of three ways: yes, no, or wait. If your toddler wanted to play in the street, you'd answer "no," because you know his request isn't good for him. If your sixteen year old asked to get engaged, you'd answer "wait." You know she's not yet ready for this step. If your sixth grader asked to help with the dishes, you'd say "yes" (you may faint first!). If we in our imperfect ability to love our children answer in this way, how much more does God, with his perfect love, answer our prayers and our children's prayers? When God answers a prayer with a "no," remember it's a "love no." He answers because he knows the request isn't the best thing for us.
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