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I read with dismay yet another CT story on persecution in the Chinese church [" 'New' China: Same Old Tricks," March 11]. Why is it that CT can only paint China's incredibly complicated religious landscape in black and white?

My Christian Chinese friends, most of them evangelicals, would be stunned and hurt to see so many one-sided portrayals of the religious situation in China. Hammering the same theme over and over distorts the truth: The religious trends here are largely positive.

Tony Carnes could paint a more nuanced picture if he wanted to.

Kurt Selles
Beijing

My story in many ways parallels that of the anonymous author of "No Easy Victory" [March 11]. I became aware of my sexual orientation at age 9, was married for nearly 20 years, and raised four wonderful children.

I was saved at 24, and my faith was real. Yet I was still gay. I too was suicidal and felt I could not trust my brothers and sisters in Christ.

I prayed, pleaded, and begged God to change me. I went to Christian counselors, and Christians prayed for my "private struggle." When I was 45, God in his grace and in his time brought me out. His promise that no one would pluck me out of his hand became the reality of my life.

No words are powerful enough to describe the pain and fear I felt during that first couple of years. For a year my wife stood with me while she and my children suffered from remarks by friends and neighbors. Of my Christian friends, 99 percent simply walked away. The Lord did bring me other Christian friends who, although they did not understand or fully accept my being gay, did stand with me.

The guilt and judgment put on me by the church, however, took its toll. My wife filed for divorce, and my life as I knew it came to a close.

I began to hate myself so much that I felt my life was not worth living. But God showed me his love, compassion, and grace and brought me through to a full and a truly victorious life. In the four years since then, I have stood as a testimony to the reality of the power of God's divine love and grace.

Am I still gay? Yes. Am I still a Christian? Unquestionably yes! For my position in Christ is, and always has been, based on his work in my life, not my own. The psychological cost to my family was considerable. But today my children and their spouses and children have come to know and love me in a way that would never have been possible before. My former wife and I remain friends, enjoying our children and grandchildren together.

I know and live the reality of the Christian experience. Not much is preached on the cleansing power of the blood of Christ anymore, but it is through that cleansing and the power therein that I stand today.

To my brother I would like to say, "Remain true to your relationship with the Lord, stand fast in the reality of his truth, follow him and trust him fully as he leads you. Ours is no easy victory, but there is victory."

Bruce Hooper
Bryant, Arkansas

Thanks for publishing the experience of the anonymous author of "No Easy Victory." I pray that I will be able to implement the adjustment to my attitude required after reading of his experience.

Bob Snyder
Midland, Michigan

The gripping testimony of a married, nonpracticing homosexual Christian helps us see the battle "from the inside out." It also must add insight to the very nature of the battle itself—and cause God's people to weigh our often shallow responses to the several dilemmas in which this man and so many others are trapped.

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April 22 2002, Vol. 46, No. 5